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that is why you fail

The Shocking Truth About Why Your Fail

Take a moment to think about something your really wanted to accomplish in your life but failed. Why did you fail? Most people will give an excuse like too hard, too old, too young, cost too much, too cold, too hot, my feet hurt or not tall enough. All of the excuses are dead wrong. The shocking truth about why you failed is that you were doing something you shouldn’t.

At the core of our being is what is known as the Six Human Needs. Our needs are the primal forces that shape all of our choices. Our motivation is driven by the need to fulfill these six basic human needs. These needs determine why we do the things we do. How is it that one person will sacrifice his own life for another, while another person will murder a stranger for pleasure? What creates a Nelson Mandela or a Charles Manson? A Jeffrey Dahmer or a John F. Kennedy? A unibomber or a Martin Luther King?

6 Human Needs

The concept of the Six Human Needs is at the core of Human Needs Psychology. In other words these needs determine why we enjoy or succeed at certain task but hate or fail at other tasks.I am going to first talk about the 6 human needs and the traits found with each one. Then at the end I will give a list of resources where you can take (free) tests online to determine your needs. But first let me list the 6 human needs and then talk about each one.

  • Certainty
  • Uncertainty
  • Signifigance
  • Connection and Love
  • Growth
  • Contribution

6 human needs


The first need is for certainty that we can be comfortable – to have pleasure and to avoid pain. For some of us, this means a secure environment and consistency in our relationships. You can also get certainty through physical habits: eating, for instance, can make you feel comfortable and certain. You can also get certain by holding certain beliefs, for instance, by having faith that your problems will be resolved. Our need for certainty is a fundamental survival instinct, common to all animals as well – if you feel that your survival is at stake, you will focus on surviving. For some people, “survival mode” is a rare experience, and they can’t even remember what it’s like. Other people go into “survival mode” on a regular basis. Survival, the need for certainty, however, is common to all of us.


Once you feel certain, however, our second need is for uncertainty – for variety and challenges that will exercise our emotional and physical
range. Our bodies, our minds, our emotional being all require uncertainty, exercise, suspense, variety, surprise. Even if you are the happiest person in the world, your moods will shift. Even if you have a lifetime supply of your favorite food, at some point you will want to eat something else. Your emotional and physical states will change. We all value uncertainty/variety to different degrees, but we all need it. You may get variety in a straightforward way – by pursuing changes, diversions, pleasures, or by undergoing risky projects or taking on challenging commitments. You may also get variety in paradoxical ways – by being uncertain, depressed, and fearful. Both examples exercise your emotional and physical range, and both give you uncertainty. And don’t forget a major source of variety for all of us: problems. When things don’t go as planned, when expectations are foiled and things go in a different direction, that’s uncertainty/variety as well. What kind of uncertainty/variety do you experience on a regular basis?


The third need is for significance. Every person needs to feel important, needed, wanted. When we were babies, we all needed to feel that we were number one. If you had siblings, you competed with them for love and attention you found your niche, whether as the smart one or the scrappy one or the loving one or the obedient one. This need is still with us: needing to feel special and important in some way has helped shape who you are today. You can feel significant by building or achieving something, or you can feel significant by tearing something or somebody down. In all cases, significance comes from comparing yourself to others hierarchical pecking orders and superiority /inferiority. In its positive sense, significance leads you to “raise” your standards. If you overfocus on significance, you will have trouble feeling connected with people, because the comparison game marks out differences. And you may be focused on significance in the other way focusing on low self-esteem, always waiting to see whether you’re good enough, expecting others to raise you or to demonstrate something to you. How do you get significance?

Love and Connection

The fourth need is for love and connection. Everyone needs connection with other human beings, and everyone strives for and hopes for love. If you are alive today, you were loved. You needed to feel loved and be touched in order to survive, and those needs are still at your core. In this sense, love is the ultimate survival instinct, and comes before the baby can take care of its own basic bodily needs. So love is a big part of who you already are, no matter who you are. The obstacles lie only in your belief system in how to get the feeling of love, your rules about how to recognize and appreciate love, and your ability to learn to give love as well as to receive it. Some people rarely experience love, but they have many ways of feeling connection with others in the community or in the workplace. Do you experience love in your life or do you focus on connection with others, a less threatening form of love? When in your life have you felt really loved?


When we stop growing, we die. We need to constantly develop emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. There is a universal law about growth: everything is either growing or dying there is no middle ground. Anything that you want to remain in your life your money, your body, your relationship, your happiness, or love must be cultivated, developed, expanded. Otherwise, it will degenerate. What does this mean for us? There is no “retirement,” a terminal point where we simply get to keep and enjoy what we have. If your body, your finances, or your relationship are in a good state, be prepared to continue to care for and expand them. If you let them “flatline,” they will degenerate.


To go beyond your own needs and give to others. Everything in the universe contributes beyond itself or it is eliminated. This is true of layoffs at work, and it’s true of the animal kingdom. Most emotional problems and sources of pain disappear when you focus on serving beyond yourself. Therefore, contribution is the human need that effectively regulates your other five needs. If you are focused on contribution, 6 you have the certainty of being able to contribute (there is always a way); you have variety in the number of things that can go right and wrong (contribution is highly interactive); you have significance, because the commitment to contribution is rare and is the sign of an extraordinary person; you have connection, because there is a spiritual connection in helping others; and you have the necessity to grow, since contribution requires going beyond your own needs. From this perspective, the purpose of Human Needs Psychology is not only to take care of your own needs but also to expand to serve others in an attitude of leadership and contribution. If you are focused on contribution and growth, it is difficult to get bored or depressed.

Why Some People Succeed and You Fail

If you are a person who primary need is certainty, would you excel at a career that involves a huge amount of risk? The simple answer is NO. If you are in a position that requires you to constantly take risk and the environment is changing daily then you will not succeed in that environment. The reason is that you are doing something that does not meet your primary need.

So how do you determine what is your primary need? Take 5 minutes to print out this test and answer the questions. When you are done then you can score your answers. This test will show how each of the 6 human needs rank in your life.

Take the 6 Human Needs Test Here

Let me show you my results and you determine if I will succeed or fail at what I am doing. Here are my results:

  • Growth – 14
  • Uncertainty – 10
  • Contribution – 9
  • Significance – 7
  • Certainty – 6
  • Love/Connection – 1.5

I started this blog at the end of January the beginning of February in 2013. My goal was to share my Internet Marketing Journey with others so they will be inspired to accomplish great things in their life. With GROWTH as my primary need do you think doing this blog meets this need? The answer is absolutely.

My second needs is UNCERTAINTY. If you read my blog post about dropping my most profitable affiliate programs you will see that I am able to deal well with situations like this. How I responded to this adversity is a reflection of my two primary needs.

Know Your Strengths and Exploit Them

We all have our strengths and weaknesses. We start to succeed in life when we understand what our strengths are and start to exploit them. I was able to develop a firm understanding of my strengths and weaknesses during the past year of being coached by Tony Robbins right hand man. (You should read how I got this man to be my coach.)

Here is another free test that you can take that will give you an indepth analysis of what drives you. If you want to know the real holdbacks to your success, and how to align with your own true personality traits for not only achievement but a life of fulfillment, take this free 15-minute online assessment right now!

Who Am I?

I took the above DISC assessment and here are my results:

  • Decisive – 99
  • Interactive – 17
  • Stability – 63
  • Cautious – 77

Here are my VALUES results:

  • Aesthetic – 23
  • Economic – 99
  • Individualistic – 55
  • Political – 55
  • Altruistic – 3
  • Regulatory – 50
  • Theoretical – 76

When you look at my results you will see that I am very, very individualistic and prefer to be by myself instead of interacting with others. My manager at work keeps telling me I should start speaking at Internet Marketing Events because of my success with making money online. The only problem is that this is contrary to my basic needs and not something I value. That is why I struggle with the thought of doing it.

I am very driven when it comes to making money and being financially secure as well as being theoretical. I get up every morning at 5AM to work on my online business so I can walk away from my day job and eventually be able to take care of my immediate family.

The jobs that I have loved the most in life where when I was programing and working as a consulting. That meets the individual and theoretical requirements at the highest levels. There were regulatory requirements because I was working on the requirements set by the client but they were not regulations that stifled my ability to get my job done.

The job that I hated the most was working for Coca Cola. I have never met a company that had so much red tape in my life. It was not unusual for it to take a year or longer for projects to get approved and started. I absolutely hated working in that environment.

One of the jobs that I loved the most was working for Apple Computer. When I worked for Apple Computer they held the record for producing the most revenue per employee than any company in the world. When you worked at Apple you were expected to perform at insanely high levels and get the job completed. This job allowed my strong individualist trait and love of uncertainty to flourish. I created the very first customer support program at Apple. Today you can get customer support on any Apple product but it started first when I created the support program for MacTCP and Mac IRMA.

Who Are You?

Now that you have taken both the 6 Human Needs and DISC Profile tests, how did you do? What are your 2 primary human needs? Is the job you are doing today align with those needs? If not do you hate your job? Now you know why.

Post up in the comments about your results and how you feel they match up to areas in your life where you succeed and where you fail.


If so, please join over 1,000 people who receive exclusive notification every time I publish a new article or online marketing tips. Click on the red button below!

by Jennifer Bland

I am an Entrepreneur. Mountain Climber. Neil Diamond fanatic. World traveler. MBA grad. Soon to be permanently retired from the ratrace. My website is a diary of strategies that I have used to make money online. I share what I have learned to help others.

2 comments… add one
  1. This is one of the best blogs I have come across or it kinda came across me. Whatever the reason it will be read with the upmost respect.I am starting a blog in a simuliar area but nto just as intense or should I say professional! Look forward to the next post IT REALLY HITS HOME! HAPPY TRAILS TO ALL TO WHERE EVER THEY MAY LEAD!

    1. Michael,

      I am glad to hear that you found my blog. Be sure to tell all your friends about it! Let me know when you get your blog going so I can read about your journey.



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